Have you ever been forced to doubt if you are good enough? Have you ever thought that it is unfair to judge and undermine people? Have you ever faced the roadblock to your aspirations, just because your ambitions don’t match to that of societal expectations? Welcome to the ‘Elite Manupulative Club’, aka Society!
The expectations on us start even before our birth, I would say! Though years of awareness have made people welcome babies, both boys and girls equally, gender preference is still prevalent in most parts of the country. So, isn’t it bewildering to know that we are expected to be born a certain way even before we are born!
Just when we thought it can’t get any worse than this, if our parents belong to a certain profession, we are expected to follow through.If our dad is a businessman, we are expected to take it forward; if our parent is a teacher, we are expected to be smart and shine in that particular subject; same goes for the kids of the doctors, artists, auditors and so on. But, isn’t it wrong on so many levels that the society and family sets a predefined expectation on someone without allowing him/her to embrace his/her interests, without stopping by to think that the person might have his/own picture to paint!
It is indeed a burden holding on to what others think or might think, than holding on to our desires and hopes.Society seems to decide how we should dress, what and where we should study, where should we be employed, whom should we be friends with and where should our interests be, whom should be marry and how our children should be, directly or indirectly! And the cycle goes on. We and our family members are forced to comply to the demands of the society most of the times.
By the time we finish off with the societal expectations forgoing our aspirations, we are finished off literally, with just a ghost version of ourselves left to wander in the block.
We can’t expect a Vishwanathan Anand out of a Sachin Tendulkar. If a A.R.Rahman is forced to sit for JEE Mains and Mr.Amartya Sen is egged on to win an Oscar, we are just making a fool of ourselves.They are successful in their own fields and in their own terms.Can we expect people to be someone else and expect them to prove themselves in the fields, that they are least interested in? If they succumb to the pressure and in a bid to prove themselves, if they fail, it is our failure as a society and not theirs! It is like expecting an Ostrich to take a flight, while caging the parrot which is itching to fly!
Then, there is also the pressure of keeping up with the people’s never ending expectations and our consistency.You succeed once and you are faced with the expectation to prove yourself everytime! Your reputation is at stake there.Facts prove that someone who is forced with these pressures has a high chance of going into depression or suffer fatality, when his heart fails to keep up with the pressure to succeed time and again!
For the unversed, the song ‘Pappu can’t dance’ is from the Bolkywood movie ‘Jaane to ya jaane naa’.Though it is a foot tapping and hummable song with an equally funny lyrics, just reading the above funny take on the song proves the expectation theory.You might be intelligent, brilliant, classy and downright rich, but society still manages to find fault with you that you can’t dance! Though this is downright hilarious, it makes us wonder that would we ever be good enough and puts forth the importance of staying/acting ignorant to the societal demands.
The lyrics of the songs goes,
Hai Muscular Hai Popular
Spectacular, He is a bachelor
Pappu ki gadi tez hai
Pappu kudiyon mein craze hai.
Pappu ki aankein light blue.
Pappu dikhta hai angrezzz hai
Rado ki ghadi haathon mein
Perfume Gucci wala…
Par Pappu cant dance saala (Source:Musixmatch.com)
That’s society for you, my dears! You might be good at ‘n’ number of things, but it would eventually succeed in finding ‘that one’ in which you ain’t good at and gets to you completely.Look beyond the societal expectations, chuck the pressures that come associated with it and you definitely can’t keep on answering the ‘whys’! Stop wondering what others would think.
We can start with fulfilling our personal dreams and expectations.We should encourage our dear ones to dream on and try something that interests them.Not everything should be looked upon as the means to earn money. There are things that are learnt and done for one’s personal satisfaction. The person who doesn’t comply to the presumptions of the society should not be looked down as a failure.
I would rather like my daughters to shatter the glass ceilings than to fit themselves in some Cinderella’s glass slippers!Let our kids choose what they want to be in life and the be the first version of themselves than be the successful copies of someone else. Let us care more for their mental wellbeing.
‘COURAGE’ is being original in the world full of photocopies and being ourselves in the world that always tells us to be someone else! Our life is always made to be a ‘pressure cooker’ with the expectation of that perfectly cooked rice, so what if the rice turns out to undercooked or overcooked? There is a chance that we might invent something new or learn something from the process! Let us just ‘steam out’!