I looked at Rajveer, my husband of ten years. I couldn’t understand the reason for his sudden outburst. Most of the times, I would be shouted at, for no fault of mine. The trigger could be any, from misunderstanding with his manager or work load, to a traffic jam or a migraine, he would get pumped up, or down in dumps in a blink of an eye.
The recent outburst of his, broke something in me. Angry tears welled up in my eyes, as I balled up myself in a corner like a hurt kitten. I was angry with him, myself and my helplessness.
That was where my kid found me. His five year old brain couldn’t comprehend the situation. He started pestering me up for a game of ludo. I was about to shout at him, but stopped myself. Wasn’t I going to subject my kid to the same agony, I was constantly subjected to! What would be the difference between my husband and I, if I shout at my kid for no fault of his? Wasn’t I channelling my anger towards a weaker target? My hands automatically pulled my boy and cradled him. It was high time my boy got a better role model. It was time I took a stand.
Automatic, Pump, Reason